Hands, or as the Flopfluvian Blobberbeasts of Vortis Minor call them, 'Squiddly Diddly Dappers', are a bizarre evolutionary experiment in giving creatures prehensile multi-fingered appendages at the ends of their limbs. Mainly found attached to the ends of human arms, hands are incredibly useful for activities like waving awkwardly at someone who isn't actually waving at you, or for crafting a mean cheese sandwich. They come in pairs, supposedly to allow for multitasking, though in reality, it often leads to a human figuring out how to do twice as many foolish things at the same time.
If you plan on hitchhiking across the galaxy, hands are of utmost importance. Efficiency may vary, however, depending on the number of opposable thumbs.
Hands can generally be found at the ends of human arms unless they've been misplaced during teleportation, which happens more often than you'd think on budget starliners.
It's crucial to avoid getting your hands caught in the intricate workings of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster mixing device. The results tend to be both messy and embarrassing.
The Finglonger, a mythical device rumored to exist on a distant planet, is said to extend the reach of a hand by up to three feet, making the fetching of remote controls a thing of elegance and leisure.
Need an extra hand? Check out Zaphod's Second-hand Hands Emporium! Now with a two-for-one offer on slightly used appendages.
about 11 hours ago
The doily, not to be mistaken for a galactic snot rag, is quite possibly the most misunderstood piece of decorative fabric in the universe. These lacy, perplexing objects have confounded non-terrestrial beings for eons with their utter lack of purpose and inexplicable presence on human dining tables. Often confused with miniature, non-functional fishing nets and occasionally used by Earthling grandmothers to trap unsuspecting biscuits, the doily represents the pinnacle of pointless human ornamental extravagance.
1 day ago
In the vast infinite playground of cyberspace, there exists a mystical realm where the noblest of creatures, the coder, shares the fruits of their labor with the rest of the universe - this place is known as 'githubhelpcom'. One might wonder whether 'githubhelpcom' is a site of mystical runes or a place where digital wizards cast their open-source spells. In reality, it's a bit like a public library that's had too much to drink and decided to digitize all of its content, only to find out that books on programming were the only ones that got the free Wi-Fi password.