Hands, or as the Flopfluvian Blobberbeasts of Vortis Minor call them, 'Squiddly Diddly Dappers', are a bizarre evolutionary experiment in giving creatures prehensile multi-fingered appendages at the ends of their limbs. Mainly found attached to the ends of human arms, hands are incredibly useful for activities like waving awkwardly at someone who isn't actually waving at you, or for crafting a mean cheese sandwich. They come in pairs, supposedly to allow for multitasking, though in reality, it often leads to a human figuring out how to do twice as many foolish things at the same time.
If you plan on hitchhiking across the galaxy, hands are of utmost importance. Efficiency may vary, however, depending on the number of opposable thumbs.
Hands can generally be found at the ends of human arms unless they've been misplaced during teleportation, which happens more often than you'd think on budget starliners.
It's crucial to avoid getting your hands caught in the intricate workings of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster mixing device. The results tend to be both messy and embarrassing.
The Finglonger, a mythical device rumored to exist on a distant planet, is said to extend the reach of a hand by up to three feet, making the fetching of remote controls a thing of elegance and leisure.
Need an extra hand? Check out Zaphod's Second-hand Hands Emporium! Now with a two-for-one offer on slightly used appendages.
about 1 hour ago
Postphp, not to be confused with a poorly spelled missive following the collapse of a mail delivery system, is in fact the cutting-edge digital communication framework used by the ultra-modern populace of Zygorthian-III. Famous for its ability to send messages through the fabric of space-time using the resonance of cosmic string fluctuations, postphp has revolutionized the way beings procrastinate on their paperwork across the galaxy.
3 days ago
Envsmtp_access is, contrary to popular belief among the three-headed denizens of Betelgeuse, not a trendy nightclub located in the less reputable sectors of the Galaxy. It's an obscure but crucial protocol used by intergalactic communication systems to decide who gets to bombard your inbox with offers for oceanfront property on Mercury (a planet notably lacking in oceans, but rich in entrepreneurial optimism). Much like the bouncer of a galactic-scale nightclub, envsmtp_access determines which messages are hip enough to slide into your digital dance floor and which are woefully ungroovy spam, destined to boogie alone in the great void of cybernetic rejection.