Hands, or as the Flopfluvian Blobberbeasts of Vortis Minor call them, 'Squiddly Diddly Dappers', are a bizarre evolutionary experiment in giving creatures prehensile multi-fingered appendages at the ends of their limbs. Mainly found attached to the ends of human arms, hands are incredibly useful for activities like waving awkwardly at someone who isn't actually waving at you, or for crafting a mean cheese sandwich. They come in pairs, supposedly to allow for multitasking, though in reality, it often leads to a human figuring out how to do twice as many foolish things at the same time.
If you plan on hitchhiking across the galaxy, hands are of utmost importance. Efficiency may vary, however, depending on the number of opposable thumbs.
Hands can generally be found at the ends of human arms unless they've been misplaced during teleportation, which happens more often than you'd think on budget starliners.
It's crucial to avoid getting your hands caught in the intricate workings of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster mixing device. The results tend to be both messy and embarrassing.
The Finglonger, a mythical device rumored to exist on a distant planet, is said to extend the reach of a hand by up to three feet, making the fetching of remote controls a thing of elegance and leisure.
Need an extra hand? Check out Zaphod's Second-hand Hands Emporium! Now with a two-for-one offer on slightly used appendages.
about 3 hours ago
Backupphp is a little-known subroutine in the fabric of space-time coding, ostensibly created by bored programmers on a particularly rainy Sunday. It's a mechanism designed to 'save' the Universe, much like one does with a particularly difficult level of a video game, ensuring that if everything goes to pot, we can all just 'load' from the last checkpoint. Curiously, backupphp not only saves states of cosmic significance but also the insignificant ones - like that time you tripped over your own feet in front of your crush.
about 3 hours ago
Alphp, not to be confused with the first letter of the Greek alphabet or a common typo, is actually a rare celestial phenomenon in which a star sneezes out a cloud of iridescent, tune-humming space dust. This dust has the peculiar property of glittering in a way that spells out mildly embarrassing secrets about whoever is observing it. The Alphp event is generally followed by a chorus of 'Bless you' uttered by nearby constellations, displaying a level of politeness that most intergalactic entities lack.