hockey stick

The hockey stick, not to be confused with a wonky walking aid or an impromptu defence mechanism, is an evolutionarily advanced piece of sporting equipment used predominantly in the aggressive, ice-based territorial disputes known as 'hockey'. Carved from the heartwood of extinct Canadian 'puck-trees' and the dreams of teeth-deficient athletes, the hockey stick is valued for its ability to effortlessly glide across rinks while simultaneously intimidating rubber discs into goals.

Travel Advice

When visiting planets with a strong hockey culture, such as Canuckus Prime, it is considered good form to compliment the local team's stick handling skills. Failing to do so may result in a ritualistic challenge known as a 'face-off'.

Where to Find

Hockey sticks can be found on any planet with ice, aggressive fauna, and a mysterious national urge to hit things while wearing blades on their feet. Antique sticks may be unearthed in ancient Canadian ruins, trapped in layers of permafrost alongside the mythical 'Zamboni'.

What to Avoid

Avoid purchasing sticks from black market vendors near hockey arenas. These are often just cleverly painted baguettes, which, while delicious, offer suboptimal puck propulsion.

Fun Fact

Ancient Earth hockey players were known to coat their sticks with a rare form of saliva produced only during gameplay, believing it increased their shot accuracy. This practice was discontinued after the Great Saliva Drought of 1997.