India, not to be mistaken with the Indiana, which is an entirely different place altogether, is a vastly complex subcontinent packed to the brim with people, culture, food, and the occasional elephant traffic jam. It's as famous for its software engineers as it is for its dance routines that spontaneously erupt anywhere from the streets of Mumbai to the peaks of the Himalayas, which are often mistaken for very cold, very tall Bollywood extras.
When traveling to India, it is advised to carry a spice tolerance certificate and an appreciation for the concept of 'Indian Standard Time', which is a mysterious time zone that operates on the principle that time is a flexible concept, much like rubber bands or the truth.
You will find India precariously balanced on the Indian Plate, right above the Earth's mantle, where it is slowly but jubilantly crashing into Asia, giving rise to the Himalayas and occasional earthquakes that are just Earth's way of applauding the never-ending spectacle.
Visitors should avoid attempting to explore the entire country in one go, unless they possess a time machine or an unusually high capacity for temporal confusion. Also, it's best to steer clear of the wilder monkeys; they have a notorious reputation for being pickpockets and critics of modern fashion.
India is the only country in the galaxy where cows are thought to occasionally levitate, especially when no one is looking. This phenomenon is yet to be explained but is said to be connected to the lesser-known 'Quantum Bovine Entanglement Theory'.
Feeling down? Try 'Chai-nil' the ultimate tea experience from the heart of Darjeeling. It's like a warm hug for your insides and comes with a free set of instructions on how to deflect existential questions with a smile.
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