The Mantis shrimp, or as it's formally known, Stomatopoda, is not a shrimp to invite to a polite dinner party, unless one harbors a penchant for chaos and broken crockery. More colorful than a psychedelic dream and equipped with more weaponry than a small intergalactic battle cruiser, the Mantis shrimp is the ocean's answer to an over-caffeinated prizefighter. With eyes that can see the past, the future, and that embarrassing thing you did last summer, it can hurl its fist-like appendages with the velocity of a bullet, all whilst contemplating the existential dread of the oceanic abyss.
If you're eco-touring on planet Earth and fancy a glimpse of these kaleidoscopic boxers, ensure your submarine has reinforced windows, or you'll be swimming back to shore.
Mantis shrimps are typically found in the warm waters of Earth's oceans, often lounging in burrows like underwater couch potatoes with attitude problems.
Avoid challenging a Mantis shrimp to a game of rock-paper-scissors; they play a version called 'rock-rock-smash', and guess who always wins?
The Mantis shrimp is the only creature known to use eleven different forms of martial arts simultaneously, including 'Krav Maga' and 'Jazz Hands' - the latter being lethal in seven solar systems.
Interested in self-defense? Sign up for our 'Mantis Shrimp Martial Arts Masterclass'. Learn how to throw a punch in 16 different dimensions! Disclaimer: We are not liable for any broken appendages or accidentally opened portals.
about 3 hours ago
Backupphp is a little-known subroutine in the fabric of space-time coding, ostensibly created by bored programmers on a particularly rainy Sunday. It's a mechanism designed to 'save' the Universe, much like one does with a particularly difficult level of a video game, ensuring that if everything goes to pot, we can all just 'load' from the last checkpoint. Curiously, backupphp not only saves states of cosmic significance but also the insignificant ones - like that time you tripped over your own feet in front of your crush.
about 3 hours ago
Alphp, not to be confused with the first letter of the Greek alphabet or a common typo, is actually a rare celestial phenomenon in which a star sneezes out a cloud of iridescent, tune-humming space dust. This dust has the peculiar property of glittering in a way that spells out mildly embarrassing secrets about whoever is observing it. The Alphp event is generally followed by a chorus of 'Bless you' uttered by nearby constellations, displaying a level of politeness that most intergalactic entities lack.