Mars, the fourth rock from the sun, known affectionately to its friends as 'The Red Planet' due to its unabashedly rusted complexion, is the holiday destination of choice for those who don't mind a bit of solitude, a lack of air, and a horizon that remains maddeningly unchanged no matter how long you hike. It's the kind of place where you can really hear yourself think, mostly because there's absolutely nothing else to listen to.
Be sure to pack a sweater. Or better yet, a fully insulated space suit with its own life support system. The Martian weather is somewhat temperamental - veering dramatically between 'frozen solid' and 'still quite nippy'.
Take a left at the Asteroid Belt and it's your third rock on the right. If you hit Jupiter, you've gone too far. Reverse thrust immediately.
Avoid accepting party invitations from Martians. They have a notorious tendency to plan get-togethers on leap days of the Martian calendar, which means you'll be waiting around for about 687 Earth days per shindig.
Mars is home to Olympus Mons, the tallest volcano in the solar system, which, in an ancient Martian dialect, translates to 'Big Mountain'. Martians were nothing if not literal in their naming conventions.
Planning a visit to the Red Planet? Don't miss our 'Dust-Proof Your Experience!' special at Marvin's Martian Outfitters, where you'll find the finest selection of space helmets with built-in visor wipers.
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