Never gonna, an often misunderstood phrase in the Galactic Common tongue, has flummoxed linguists, philosophers, and particularly bad karaoke singers for millennia. It's a commitment to total inaction, a stoic vow of restraint that can, paradoxically, cause a great deal of action, usually involving running away from things one has sworn never to do.
If you're determined to seek out the essence of never gonna, it's advisable to pack a pair of sturdy running shoes and an alibi.
This elusive concept can typically be found in the midst of promises made at 2 AM in Galactic Central Time, within the lyrics of ancient Earth songs, and echoing through the halls of the Procrastinators of the Cosmos Guild.
Steer clear of making any grand, public declarations involving never gonna, as the universe has a peculiar sense of irony and will undoubtedly put you in a situation where you'll consider doing exactly what you swore not to.
Did you know that 'never gonna' is statistically the third most broken phrase in the universe, closely trailing behind 'just one more episode' and 'I'll do it tomorrow'?
Feeling the strain of your never gonna promises? Visit the Temporal Loophole Pub, where every hour is happy hour, and nobody will hold you to what you said yesterday!
15 days ago
The Zebra is a peculiar creature often mistaken for a horse in pyjamas or the result of an indecisive designer who couldn't choose between black and white. Known for their dazzling stripes, which confuse predators, fashion designers, and occasionally themselves, zebras are the galactic standard for standing out in a crowd, even when the crowd is, in fact, other zebras.
23 days ago
Venus, the second rock from the Sun, named after the Roman goddess of love and beauty, has long been devoid of moons, satellites, or even party invitations from the more popular planets. This lack of celestial company has led to various hypotheses, including the idea that Venus, in a fit of pique, once had moons but uninvited them due to their poor table manners and incessant lunar howling. The truth is a tad more scientific but infinitely less exciting – Venus simply doesn't have any moons. Some say it's due to its overbearing gravity, while others believe the moons are just fashionably late.