Oldsite, not to be confused with Old Faithful, Old Yeller, or your old math teacher's ramblings, is a place of remarkable unremarkability. Located on the third moon of Graxnix, Oldsite is as old as the jokes about its name. It is a historical, hysterical, site where ancient ruins clash with modern boredom in a spectacle that is, quite literally, as exciting as watching paint dry - if that paint were several millennia old and inscribed with the wisdom of a long-lost civilization. It is the universe's largest collection of 'I was here' graffiti, predating even the invention of walls to scribble on.
When traveling to Oldsite, bring a picnic basket and a sense of profound indifference. You'll need it to fully appreciate the site's subtle lack of zest.
You'll find Oldsite by heading towards the Lesser Magellanic Cloud and taking a sharp left at the second star cluster. If you've hit the Cosmic Café, you've gone too far. Oldsite is just behind the dust cloud shaped like a disinterested duck.
Avoid making eye contact with the ancient murals, as they've been known to induce existential crises. Likewise, resist the urge to doodle on the ruins, as this tends to upset the already grumpy local historians.
Fun fact: Oldsite was once mistaken for a cosmic landfill, leading to several decades of the universe's refuse being delivered to its doorstep. This has only added to its charm and piquancy.
While you're not marveling at Oldsite, why not marvel at the time you'll save with the new Hitchhiker's Quantum Map? Now with real-time alternate dimension traffic updates!
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