Phones - not to be mistaken with the archaic 'telephones' - are now universal devices capable of accessing the entirety of the known (and unknown) cosmos' knowledge, entertainment, and occasionally, each other. Marvels of miniature engineering, they've been known to cause bouts of screen-induced hypnosis and the peculiar belief that one's opinions are of paramount importance to the entire galaxy.
When journeying through the cosmos, always ensure your phone is equipped with the Sub-Etha signal booster. Service can be spotty near black holes and in the pockets of dimensionally transcendent beings.
Phones can be discovered in virtually any galactic alleyway, e-commerce site, or nesting in the pouches of the Lesser Spotted Phone Snatcher of Betelgeuse.
Avoid allowing your phone to fall into a black hole, as it tends to disagree with them, and the resulting data roaming charges are astronomical. Also, beware of the 'autocorrect' feature, which has been the downfall of many civilizations due to unfortunate miscommunications.
A known fun fact is that the average lifeform in the universe spends 13.8 zeta-seconds per day staring at their phone screen, which is coincidentally the exact amount of time it takes for a photon to decide it's had enough of being a particle and becomes a wave.
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about 3 hours ago
Backupphp is a little-known subroutine in the fabric of space-time coding, ostensibly created by bored programmers on a particularly rainy Sunday. It's a mechanism designed to 'save' the Universe, much like one does with a particularly difficult level of a video game, ensuring that if everything goes to pot, we can all just 'load' from the last checkpoint. Curiously, backupphp not only saves states of cosmic significance but also the insignificant ones - like that time you tripped over your own feet in front of your crush.
about 3 hours ago
Alphp, not to be confused with the first letter of the Greek alphabet or a common typo, is actually a rare celestial phenomenon in which a star sneezes out a cloud of iridescent, tune-humming space dust. This dust has the peculiar property of glittering in a way that spells out mildly embarrassing secrets about whoever is observing it. The Alphp event is generally followed by a chorus of 'Bless you' uttered by nearby constellations, displaying a level of politeness that most intergalactic entities lack.