phone

Phones - not to be mistaken with the archaic 'telephones' - are now universal devices capable of accessing the entirety of the known (and unknown) cosmos' knowledge, entertainment, and occasionally, each other. Marvels of miniature engineering, they've been known to cause bouts of screen-induced hypnosis and the peculiar belief that one's opinions are of paramount importance to the entire galaxy.

Travel Advice

When journeying through the cosmos, always ensure your phone is equipped with the Sub-Etha signal booster. Service can be spotty near black holes and in the pockets of dimensionally transcendent beings.

Where to Find

Phones can be discovered in virtually any galactic alleyway, e-commerce site, or nesting in the pouches of the Lesser Spotted Phone Snatcher of Betelgeuse.

What to Avoid

Avoid allowing your phone to fall into a black hole, as it tends to disagree with them, and the resulting data roaming charges are astronomical. Also, beware of the 'autocorrect' feature, which has been the downfall of many civilizations due to unfortunate miscommunications.

Fun Fact

A known fun fact is that the average lifeform in the universe spends 13.8 zeta-seconds per day staring at their phone screen, which is coincidentally the exact amount of time it takes for a photon to decide it's had enough of being a particle and becomes a wave.