The 'Pontypool' movie is a little-known gem in the vast multidimensional cosmos, which has baffled many by being about neither bridges nor swimming pools. It is, in fact, a cinematic exploration of language and zombification, a bit like a thesaurus with a drinking problem. Set in the sleepy town of Pontypool, Ontario, it follows a rather talkative morning radio DJ who discovers that words, when used recklessly, can have rather more severe consequences than offending one's Aunt Petunia. It's essentially what happens when you mix a dictionary with a horror flick; Grammarly's worst nightmare.
Should you wish to visit the charmingly apocalyptic setting of Pontypool, it is recommended to take a robust pair of earmuffs - the kind that might also stop a small asteroid.
You may find 'Pontypool' sandwiched between the lesser-known 'Radio Waves of Doom' and 'The Whispering Dead' in the 'obscure Canadian horror section' at your local intergalactic video store.
Avoid using any word that you can't spell correctly on the first attempt, lest you wish to succumb to the film's contagious catastrophe. On a similar note, refrain from attempting to order takeout in the town of Pontypool; you may unwittingly order a side of chaos with your poutine.
In the alternate reality where 'Pontypool' is a documentary, the Oxford English Dictionary is considered contraband and the game of Scrabble has been banned for inciting riots.
This harrowing tale of a linguistic apocalypse is brought to you by Babelfish Universal Translators - because sometimes, it's just safer not to understand.
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