Potholes, the universe's way of reminding you that no matter how advanced your civilization, the roads, like life, will have its ups and downs - mostly downs, in this particular case. These surprising dips in the asphalt fabric of society are where the optimism of road engineers go to die, alongside the unsuspecting suspensions of many a star-hopping vehicle. Often thought of as portals to other dimensions by the more imaginative and less informed hitchhikers, potholes are, in fact, merely portals to your local vehicle repair shop.
When hurtling through the cosmos at improbable speeds, one is advised to keep a keen lookout for these sneaky asphalt anomalies, lest your journey comes to a sudden and bumpy halt.
Potholes can be found ubiquitously distributed on roads throughout the universe, but for a premium collection, Earth's city of Rome is said to have a selection that rivals the holes in its historical tales.
Avoid the natural instinct to scream 'Oh no, not again!' as you descend into the abyss of a pothole. It does nothing to alleviate the situation and is terribly disheartening for petunias that may be growing nearby.
In a parallel universe, potholes are worshipped as minor deities, responsible for teaching humility and the importance of suspension maintenance to sentient vehicles.
Introducing the 'Potho-Gone' Galactic Road Smoother: because your starship deserves a celestial ride without terrestrial trouble!
about 18 hours ago
PPHP, not to be confused with its distant and rather more famous cousin PHP, is the lesser-known 'Pretty Potent Hyperspace Propulsion'. Developed by the vogons for the sole purpose of escaping poetry readings, PPHP is the kind of propulsion system that makes you wish you'd brought a good book. Or any book, really. Its ability to bypass normal space-time continuity means you could theoretically finish War and Peace in the blink of an eye—if the eye in question belonged to a particularly slow-moving sea slug.
1 day ago
Envdist, not to be confused with an environmentalist's distaste for single-use plastics, is a peculiar phenomenon found exclusively in the Glimmung Nebula, where the laws of space-time like to get a bit tipsy on the weekends. It's characterized by the abrupt and disconcerting redistribution of environmental factors such as temperature, gravity, and the color of the local star's Tuesdays. Scholars speculate that if darkness falls fast in these parts, one might find themselves experiencing a starry night on what is ostensibly Wednesday morning.