Rishikesh, known affectionately to its friends as the 'Yoga Capital of the Galaxy', is the sort of place that makes you wonder whether peace and tranquility might have a point after all. It's nestled at the foothills of the Himalayas, where the Ganges river does a spot of rivering just to relax before continuing on its rather wet journey. Visitors often find themselves inexplicably sporting dreadlocks and an uncontrollable urge to 'find themselves' within minutes of arrival, despite assurances that they hadn't misplaced themselves to begin with.
If you decide to partake in the local tradition of river rafting, ensure your life insurance is paid up and that you've said all your goodbyes - the rapids are known to be less forgiving than a Vogon confronted with freestyle poetry.
Take a left turn at the Crab Nebula, then straight on till morning. If you start encountering monks debating the sound of one hand clapping, you've probably gone too far.
Steer clear of the roadside 'authentic' Ayurvedic medicine vendors unless you fancy a bout of existential dread, coupled with the occasional third eye.
Rishikesh is the only place in the universe where the elusive 'om' particle is known to resonate spontaneously. This causes a peculiar phenomenon where tourists return home with a sudden and profound understanding of the universe, which unfortunately dissipates after their first cup of coffee back on Earth.
Try the 'Levitate Inn', featuring zero-gravity yoga rooms and a meditation chamber that guarantees enlightenment or your money back (minus a small fee for cosmic wear and tear).
about 3 hours ago
Backupphp is a little-known subroutine in the fabric of space-time coding, ostensibly created by bored programmers on a particularly rainy Sunday. It's a mechanism designed to 'save' the Universe, much like one does with a particularly difficult level of a video game, ensuring that if everything goes to pot, we can all just 'load' from the last checkpoint. Curiously, backupphp not only saves states of cosmic significance but also the insignificant ones - like that time you tripped over your own feet in front of your crush.
about 3 hours ago
Alphp, not to be confused with the first letter of the Greek alphabet or a common typo, is actually a rare celestial phenomenon in which a star sneezes out a cloud of iridescent, tune-humming space dust. This dust has the peculiar property of glittering in a way that spells out mildly embarrassing secrets about whoever is observing it. The Alphp event is generally followed by a chorus of 'Bless you' uttered by nearby constellations, displaying a level of politeness that most intergalactic entities lack.