tam

Tam, not to be confused with a tam-o'-shanter or a Tamagotchi, is in fact one of the universe's most enigmatic yet charming planetary systems. It consists of a cheerful yellow sun, around which revolve seven planets, each with its unique quirks and quarks. Tam is also home to the infamous hyperspace bypass, which was fortunately never built due to a clerical error involving an intergalactic game of 'Mornington Crescent.'

Travel Advice

When traveling to Tam, be sure to adjust your watch to Tam Standard Time, which operates on a 27-hour cycle due to an administrative error that no one has bothered to rectify. Bring a towel, and whatever you do, don't accept a game invitation from the locals - you'll never leave.

Where to Find

You'll find Tam in the Lesser Magellanic Cloud, nestled between a space diner and that black hole everyone warns you about but you plan to visit anyway because you're adventurous like that.

What to Avoid

Avoid the third planet during mating season unless you fancy being serenaded by the local flora. It's quite disconcerting being wooed by a shrub. Also, steer clear of the bureaucratic offices - they're known for paperwork that's not just soul-crushing but planet-crushing as well.

Fun Fact

Tam's second planet is inhabited by a species of sentient wind chimes that communicate solely through tonal harmonies. They have a remarkably complex society, with a system of government that's based on musical chairs - quite literally.