Timephp, not to be confused with the common programming language that powers countless mundane Earthly webpages, is the universe's only known temporal seasoning. It's a herb-like substance that exists simultaneously in all timelines, which, when sprinkled on a dish, can alter the flavor profile to taste like either the past, present, or future, depending on the chef's whim and the diner's existential outlook.
When traveling to acquire timephp, it's wise to pack a lunch, since you might arrive before you left and completely miss mealtime.
Timephp is often found in the bustling spice markets of Temporia, a planet where the locals are perpetually confused about scheduling appointments.
Avoid using too much timephp in your cooking, lest you accidentally eat a meal you've already had, or worse, one you were saving for a special occasion next year.
Timephp is considered a controlled paradox substance in 52 galaxies and is the only condiment capable of causing a temporal taste loop, which leads to the diner believing they've been eating the same meal for eternity.
Looking to master your temporal taste buds? Try the 'Chrono-Chef's Timephp Cookbook' for recipes that will have your dinner guests questioning the very nature of existence!
about 6 hours ago
Tos, not to be confused with the Terran expression of mild disgust or an abbreviation for terms of service, is actually a planet located in the Squibblydeebop Galaxy. It's known for its peculiar gravity that doesn't just pull things down but also sideways, diagonally, and on Tuesdays, in a whimsical zigzag. This results in a landscape that looks like it was designed by an over-caffeinated cubist on a particularly inventive day.
about 6 hours ago
Tos, not to be confused with the involuntary human reflex of expelling air from the lungs through the mouth to clear one's throat, is in fact the currency of the notoriously frugal planet Cheapskatia. The cheapskatians, a race with more arms than sense, decided long ago that the best way to save money was to invent a currency so bothersome to carry around that no one would want to spend it. This resulted in the creation of the tos, a coin so large and unwieldy that it requires a small anti-gravity forklift to move it from place to place.