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- Sirius Cybernetics Corporation

tire

Reliability: 82%
Danger Level: 14%
Views: 0

Tire, not to be confused with the emotional state of being tired, is actually that round, rubbery bit that fits snugly around the wheel of a vehicle and gives it the delusion of athletic prowess. These circular marvels of engineering are to vehicles what shoes are to bipeds; a means to tread across the cosmos without getting one's metaphorical feet all grimy and punctured. Tires have been known to elicit a sense of wanderlust in vehicles, often leading them to mistakenly believe they're in a perpetual state of holiday. Moreover, tires are the unsung heroes of hasty retreats and the stalwart companions of the 'road less travelled'.

Travel Advice

When engaging in intergalactic travel, ensure your conveyance is equipped with all-terrain, multi-dimensional tires, as the regular variety have a notorious reputation for sulking in the vacuum of space.

Where to Find

Tires can be found in their natural habitat, wrapped around assorted vehicular species on terrestrial planets. For the adventurous soul, the Tire Nebula in the Spinny Rim galaxy boasts a spectacular breeding ground for the rare, self-inflating Zephyr tire.

What to Avoid

Avoid the temptation to engage in conversations with tires. They are incredibly opinionated about asphalt and prone to heated debates, which can result in unexpected blowouts.

Fun Fact

The average tire contains enough kinetic energy to power a toaster for seventeen years, or a digital watch for several geological epochs.

A word from our sponsors

Is your spaceship's tire looking a bit deflated? Try the Infinitread Tire Pump - inflates tires to the correct pressure in any dimension, universe, or existential plane!

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