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    vogon poetry

    Reliability: 82%
    Danger Level: 67%
    Views: 2

    Vogon Poetry is widely regarded not just as the third worst in the Universe, but also the most meticulously efficient way to torture souls who thought a rhyming dictionary was a suitable birthday gift for anyone. These green, bureaucratic brutes craft verses so staggeringly uninspired that the words themselves have been known to apologize before leaping off the page.

    Travel Advice

    If you ever find yourself in the unfortunate position of attending a Vogon poetry recital, do remember that feigning death is less effective than simply wishing you were dead.

    Where to Find

    Vogon poetry can typically be found in the quarterly Vogon Poetry Digest or, if you have been particularly ill-behaved, at your nearest Galactic Cultural Re-education Center.

    What to Avoid

    Resist the urge to criticize, constructively or otherwise. Also avoid making eye contact, sudden movements, and any semblance of literary taste.

    Fun Fact

    A verse of Vogon poetry was once used in trial by a Galactic lawyer to successfully plead insanity for his client simply by reading it aloud. The trial was over within minutes.

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