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    warp drive

    Reliability: 42%
    Danger Level: 69%
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    Warp drive, not to be confused with the common toad's ability to make gardeners swear profusely, is a rather nifty method of propelling spacecraft through the cosmos at speeds that would make a photon feel sluggish. It does this by warping the fabric of space-time, something that was previously believed to be exclusive to the hobbies of bored celestial beings. Theoretically, it allows you to get from Point A to Point B without having to experience all those tedious points in between.

    Travel Advice

    When utilizing warp drive, always pack a towel. Not only is it useful for drying off after those hyperspace pool parties, but it can also double as a makeshift blindfold should you accidentally gaze into the vortex of eternity.

    Where to Find

    Warp drives are commonly found in the garages of retired Galactic Highway Engineers who couldn't quite let go of their work. Alternatively, check the Infinite Improbability Drive's lost and found section.

    What to Avoid

    Avoid purchasing warp drives from vendors who offer free wormholes with every purchase. These are usually last season's models with outdated firmware that can't handle the latest space-time patches.

    Fun Fact

    Did you know that the first warp drive was accidentally created by a flustered barista attempting to make an espresso in under three seconds? The resulting spatio-temporal distortion granted everyone in the cafe an unexpected view of the Renaissance.

    A word from our sponsors

    Try the latest in handheld warp technology with the Pocket Warp Whisk! Perfect for those times when you just need a little 'space' from the in-laws.

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