zune

The Zune, an ancient Earth relic, was a digital music player that sought to dethrone the reigning monarch of mobile melodies, the iPod. Its launch was akin to a tiny Chihuahua barking defiantly at a vast and indifferent universe. Despite boasting features such as wireless sharing and a built-in FM radio, the Zune was about as successful at conquering the market as a paper umbrella is at fending off a supernova.

Travel Advice

When exploring the antique tech markets of Earth's past, you may encounter the Zune. Handle it with the same reverence one might reserve for a fossilized piece of chewing gum once chewed by a celebrity.

Where to Find

Zunes can typically be found in the back corners of vintage electronic shops, in the dusty boxes of the Galaxy Wide Web's least frequented auctions, or serving as paperweights on the desks of nostalgic tech enthusiasts.

What to Avoid

Avoid mentioning the Zune to audiophiles or technophiles unless you wish to provoke a debate about the 'good old days' of digital music, which is only marginally less painful than a Vogon poetry recital.

Fun Fact

Some claim that the Zune's secret feature was its ability to transport users back to the early 2000s. However, this has yet to be proven since witnesses tend to find themselves inexplicably wearing cargo shorts and arguing about the superiority of flip phones.