123php, contrary to the numerically prefixed gibberish it may suggest, is not an ancient intergalactic counting method nor a rudimentary programming language invented by philosophically inclined parrots. It is, in fact, the code to the beverage synthesizer aboard the starship Eccentrica Gallumbits, which, when entered correctly, produces a drink so astoundingly complex that it has been known to solve Fermat's Last Theorem on its way down the esophagus.
If you're planning to visit the Eccentrica Gallumbits, do try the 123php. But be warned: the ship's AI has a cheeky habit of relocating the beverage synthesizer to different parts of the galaxy as a practical joke.
The Eccentrica Gallumbits can generally be found orbiting the lesser-known pink beaches of Santraginus V, where it refuels on the local vinagulous plants. Coordinates change frequently, so look for a ship with a cocktail glass neon sign flickering in Morse code.
Avoid attempting to order the 123php while the ship's in hyperdrive; the G-forces have been known to mix up the digits, resulting in a glass of what can only be described as culinary despair.
The 123php is named after its inventor's childhood luggage combination, a number which she never forgot because it coincided with the exact amount of steps from her front door to the candy shop.
Fancy concocting your own universal beverage? Try the 'Babel Fish Home Brew Kit' - it translates your wildest drink fantasies into liquid reality!
about 7 hours ago
Apps, not to be confused with aperitifs, appetizers or the Apes of Kapella 9, are the digital equivalent of black holes for time and productivity. Developed by the ingenious, or rather in-genius species of Earth, they are the answer to questions no one remembers asking. From turning your device into a flashlight to simulating the life of a goat, there is an app for virtually everything, including those activities you didn't know you needed or wanted to avoid. Some believe the term 'app' was originally an acronym for 'Actually Pretty Pointless', but research on this theory was abandoned when someone released an app to make toast (smartphone warranty does not cover bread-related damage).
about 22 hours ago
The Zsephp, pronounced 'Zee-sef' but only correctly by three people, none of whom are on speaking terms, is a creature of such profound laziness that it makes the average housecat look like a hyperactive blur of constant motion. With a body composed largely of a gelatinous, translucent blorble, the Zsephp spends most of its existence slowly pulsating in a state of rest so deep that nearby digital watches often pause to catch their breath.