Apps, not to be confused with aperitifs, appetizers or the Apes of Kapella 9, are the digital equivalent of black holes for time and productivity. Developed by the ingenious, or rather in-genius species of Earth, they are the answer to questions no one remembers asking. From turning your device into a flashlight to simulating the life of a goat, there is an app for virtually everything, including those activities you didn't know you needed or wanted to avoid. Some believe the term 'app' was originally an acronym for 'Actually Pretty Pointless', but research on this theory was abandoned when someone released an app to make toast (smartphone warranty does not cover bread-related damage).
If you're venturing into the Appmosphere, ensure your device is equipped with ample memory space and a sturdy protective case, for you will drop it. Often and from great heights.
Apps can be found in the vast, intangible ethos known as 'The App Store', a place of mythical legend where developers' dreams fluctuate between the Top 10 and oblivion at the speed of a hyperactive parrot on stimulants.
Beware of apps offering you a chance to invest in lunar real estate or the secret to eternal battery life. Also, avoid any app that requires more personal information than a Galactic Census Taker.
A study on the planet Twiddar revealed that 97% of sentient beings check an app to confirm the weather rather than looking out of a window. The remaining 3% were too busy developing weather apps.
Looking for a purposeless diversion? Try the 'Pet Rock Simulator' app! It's boulder than you think!
about 4 hours ago
123php, contrary to the numerically prefixed gibberish it may suggest, is not an ancient intergalactic counting method nor a rudimentary programming language invented by philosophically inclined parrots. It is, in fact, the code to the beverage synthesizer aboard the starship Eccentrica Gallumbits, which, when entered correctly, produces a drink so astoundingly complex that it has been known to solve Fermat's Last Theorem on its way down the esophagus.
about 22 hours ago
The Zsephp, pronounced 'Zee-sef' but only correctly by three people, none of whom are on speaking terms, is a creature of such profound laziness that it makes the average housecat look like a hyperactive blur of constant motion. With a body composed largely of a gelatinous, translucent blorble, the Zsephp spends most of its existence slowly pulsating in a state of rest so deep that nearby digital watches often pause to catch their breath.