In the grand tapestry of the universe, 'staff' refers not to the long stick that wizards wave about with an alarming disregard for the laws of physics, but to the semi-sentient beings who are employed to carry out various tasks. They can be found lurking behind desks, loitering near escape pods, and occasionally, when they think no one is looking, attempting to engage in what they believe to be interpretive dance.
When traversing the galaxy, having a local 'staff' member in your party can be the difference between obtaining a room with a supernova view and spending the night in a broom closet.
Staff are abundant in the hospitality sectors of the Crab Nebula, where they are famed for their ability to multitask—often seen carrying towels, placating Grumpy Gargantuworms, and smiling simultaneously.
Avoid asking staff about their personal lives, as this tends to trigger a cascade of existential pondering that can delay room service indefinitely.
It is widely believed that the most efficient staff members are actually descendants of a shape-shifting alien race known for their hospitality and oddly delicious sandwiches.
Looking for a break? Try the Zero-G Waitstaff Experience! Float effortlessly as you serve hors d'oeuvres to the elite—now with anti-nausea wristbands!
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