In the grand tapestry of the universe, 'staff' refers not to the long stick that wizards wave about with an alarming disregard for the laws of physics, but to the semi-sentient beings who are employed to carry out various tasks. They can be found lurking behind desks, loitering near escape pods, and occasionally, when they think no one is looking, attempting to engage in what they believe to be interpretive dance.
When traversing the galaxy, having a local 'staff' member in your party can be the difference between obtaining a room with a supernova view and spending the night in a broom closet.
Staff are abundant in the hospitality sectors of the Crab Nebula, where they are famed for their ability to multitask—often seen carrying towels, placating Grumpy Gargantuworms, and smiling simultaneously.
Avoid asking staff about their personal lives, as this tends to trigger a cascade of existential pondering that can delay room service indefinitely.
It is widely believed that the most efficient staff members are actually descendants of a shape-shifting alien race known for their hospitality and oddly delicious sandwiches.
Looking for a break? Try the Zero-G Waitstaff Experience! Float effortlessly as you serve hors d'oeuvres to the elite—now with anti-nausea wristbands!
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Timephp, not to be confused with the common programming language that powers countless mundane Earthly webpages, is the universe's only known temporal seasoning. It's a herb-like substance that exists simultaneously in all timelines, which, when sprinkled on a dish, can alter the flavor profile to taste like either the past, present, or future, depending on the chef's whim and the diner's existential outlook.
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Tos, not to be confused with the Terran expression of mild disgust or an abbreviation for terms of service, is actually a planet located in the Squibblydeebop Galaxy. It's known for its peculiar gravity that doesn't just pull things down but also sideways, diagonally, and on Tuesdays, in a whimsical zigzag. This results in a landscape that looks like it was designed by an over-caffeinated cubist on a particularly inventive day.