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DON'T PANIC

Welcome to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the most remarkable book ever to come out of the great publishing corporations of Ursa Minor.

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Search for anything in the known (and several unknown) universes

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- Sirius Cybernetics Corporation

15 days ago

The Zebra is a peculiar creature often mistaken for a horse in pyjamas or the result of an indecisive designer who couldn't choose between black and white. Known for their dazzling stripes, which confuse predators, fashion designers, and occasionally themselves, zebras are the galactic standard for standing out in a crowd, even when the crowd is, in fact, other zebras.

23 days ago

Venus, the second rock from the Sun, named after the Roman goddess of love and beauty, has long been devoid of moons, satellites, or even party invitations from the more popular planets. This lack of celestial company has led to various hypotheses, including the idea that Venus, in a fit of pique, once had moons but uninvited them due to their poor table manners and incessant lunar howling. The truth is a tad more scientific but infinitely less exciting – Venus simply doesn't have any moons. Some say it's due to its overbearing gravity, while others believe the moons are just fashionably late.

24 days ago

Ravioli, not to be confused with its distant cousin 'the sleeping bag', is a cunning culinary invention that has successfully tricked humans into eating tiny, delectable mattresses stuffed with various incognito ingredients. These ingredients often masquerade as cheese, meat, or vegetables, in an attempt to infiltrate human dinner plates en masse. The ravioli's ingenuity lies in its design - a pasta pocket that can evade capture by even the most sophisticated of forks.

24 days ago

Rizz, often mistaken for a cousin of the common cold due to its sneaky nature, is in fact the universe’s most convivial microorganism. It thrives on social interaction and can often be found gatecrashing parties, where it mingles with guests more effectively than a bowl of peanuts. Rizz has the unique ability to make its host the life and soul of the gathering, giving them the wit of Oscar Wilde and the dance moves of an electrically stimulated frog.

26 days ago

Rishikesh, known affectionately to its friends as the 'Yoga Capital of the Galaxy', is the sort of place that makes you wonder whether peace and tranquility might have a point after all. It's nestled at the foothills of the Himalayas, where the Ganges river does a spot of rivering just to relax before continuing on its rather wet journey. Visitors often find themselves inexplicably sporting dreadlocks and an uncontrollable urge to 'find themselves' within minutes of arrival, despite assurances that they hadn't misplaced themselves to begin with.

about 1 month ago

The term 'lol', not to be confused with the Elvish expression for 'flowers', is a quaint little artifact from the early days of Earth's digital communication. It stands, rather unsteadily, for 'laugh out loud', a concept as alien to Vogons as subtlety. Modern linguists, who've all but given up on unpacking the Voynich manuscript, agree that 'lol' is the prime example of a linguistic economization, a way to express amusement without actually having to emit any joyful noises whatsoever.

assassins-creed

about 1 month ago

Assassin's Creed, not to be confused with a particularly secretive cricket club, is in fact a series of historical simulation video games. It cleverly disguises education as entertainment, allowing players to explore meticulously recreated ancient cities while they inadvertently learn something about history. The games are notorious for their hooded protagonists who have a penchant for acrobatics, stealth, and a rather unhealthy obsession with sharp objects.

about 1 month ago

The 'ass', not to be confused with the 'arse', which is an entirely different kettle of fish (or backside, in this case), refers to a creature of sturdy disposition and remarkable stubbornness known on some backward planets as the donkey. In the vast unfurling expanse of the cosmos, 'ass' has come to symbolize both a beast of burden and, in more colloquial terms, an individual whose reasoning capacity might be outmatched by that of a particularly dim-witted rock. It's a versatile term, carrying the weight of both insult and endearment, often at the same time.

about 1 month ago

The keyboard is a perplexing artifact of human civilization, a tool that appears to have been designed by a committee of intoxicated lemurs. Its primary function is to convert coffee and biscuits into lines of text, which can then be used to create everything from scathing online reviews to passive-aggressive emails. It's said that the layout, known as QWERTY, was designed to slow down typing speed to prevent early typewriters from jamming, a feature that's as useful today as an ejector seat in a helicopter.

keyboard-warrior

about 1 month ago

The Keyboard Warrior, a close cousin of the Common Internet Troll, is a creature of immense stamina and seemingly endless time. They inhabit the vast plains of cybernetic space, thriving in the lush underbrush of comment sections and forums. With a diet consisting solely of other people's patience and self-esteem, they have evolved to possess an extraordinarily thick skin, impervious to logic, reason, or the occasional well-intentioned advice to 'just go outside.'

never-gonna-give-you-up

about 1 month ago

Never gonna give you up, not to be confused with the unyielding grip of a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal, is a peculiar Terran phenomenon that transcends the boundaries of time, space, and good taste. It is in fact, a song from Earth's 1980s, sung by a crooning biped named Rick Astley. The melody is known to induce involuntary hip oscillations and has an uncanny ability to never leave your headspace once it lodges itself there.

about 1 month ago

The xsdg, not to be confused with an XML Schema Definition, which is only slightly less confusing, is in fact a creature of such profound obscurity that its very existence is often debated by the most inebriated philosophers at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. It's a common mistake to search for meaning in the xsdg, and those who do often find themselves lost in a whirlwind of existential dread, or, even worse, a never-ending game of intergalactic Scrabble.

about 1 month ago

The Skibidi Toilet, an oft-overlooked marvel of intergalactic engineering, is the only known lavatory to have won the Nobel Prize for Peace. Its origins are as mysterious as the contents of its cistern, which some say contains a miniaturized black hole, though this is, of course, nonsense; it's actually a wormhole leading to the waste disposal systems of a parallel universe where everything is slightly more purple. It's known to play a catchy tune, the 'Skibidi', which users often find themselves dancing to, much to the confusion of anyone waiting outside the cubicle.

about 1 month ago

Never gonna, an often misunderstood phrase in the Galactic Common tongue, has flummoxed linguists, philosophers, and particularly bad karaoke singers for millennia. It's a commitment to total inaction, a stoic vow of restraint that can, paradoxically, cause a great deal of action, usually involving running away from things one has sworn never to do.

about 1 month ago

Ab asd, not to be confused with the common keyboard mishap, is a rather peculiar cosmic phenomenon found in the lesser-known quadrants of the Galaxy. It is the result of an over-enthusiastic universe trying its hand at abstract art, combining antimatter, blue quasars, and three parts distilled improbability. The result is a spectacular and confusing visual feast that could either be a newly forming galaxy or a space-time hiccup spelling out rude words in ancient Betelgeusian.

about 1 month ago

Porridge, a substance so bafflingly ordinary that it has become entangled in the fabric of the universe as the go-to breakfast for beings who have run out of any other edible options. Historically considered the cement that held together the Scots before they discovered oil and became disgustingly rich, porridge has been baffling taste buds since the dawn of civilization. Thick, gloopy, and with the remarkable ability to resemble wallpaper paste, it is the culinary equivalent of a black hole – from which no joy can escape.

about 1 month ago

Groovy baby, not to be confused with a small grooved infant, is widely recognized across the galaxy as an interjection of approval, a lifestyle, and occasionally, a particularly funky strain of bacteria found on disco balls. In the most transcendental sense, saying 'groovy baby' is akin to acknowledging the cosmic dance of the universe, while sporting bell-bottom trousers and excessive amounts of body hair.

about 1 month ago

Shipkit, not to be confused with a ship in a kit or an ill-fated way to pack sailors into boxes, is the quintessential travel companion for intergalactic hitchhikers aspiring to a semblance of reliability in their whimsically uncertain travels. It's the Swiss Army knife of the cosmos, assuming that knife also included a towel, a babel fish dispenser, and an emergency pangalactic gargle blaster synthesizer for when conversations with Vogons become unbearably sober.

about 2 months ago

Superheroes, the universe's answer to the ever-present question, 'Who will save us now?' often dressed in spandex, which is a textile with the uncanny ability to simultaneously shrink-wrap one's dignity along with their body. These beings of immense power, questionable fashion choices, and often-complicated backstories, grace various galaxies with their antics of morality and muscle. They are known for their unique abilities, such as flying without the benefit of an Electronic Thumb, seeing through solid objects with less radiation than a microwave burrito, and lifting objects that would make a Vogon Constructor Fleet feel a bit inadequate.

about 2 months ago

Potholes, the universe's way of reminding you that no matter how advanced your civilization, the roads, like life, will have its ups and downs - mostly downs, in this particular case. These surprising dips in the asphalt fabric of society are where the optimism of road engineers go to die, alongside the unsuspecting suspensions of many a star-hopping vehicle. Often thought of as portals to other dimensions by the more imaginative and less informed hitchhikers, potholes are, in fact, merely portals to your local vehicle repair shop.

15 days ago

The Zebra is a peculiar creature often mistaken for a horse in pyjamas or the result of an indecisive designer who couldn't choose between black and white. Known for their dazzling stripes, which confuse predators, fashion designers, and occasionally themselves, zebras are the galactic standard for standing out in a crowd, even when the crowd is, in fact, other zebras.

23 days ago

Venus, the second rock from the Sun, named after the Roman goddess of love and beauty, has long been devoid of moons, satellites, or even party invitations from the more popular planets. This lack of celestial company has led to various hypotheses, including the idea that Venus, in a fit of pique, once had moons but uninvited them due to their poor table manners and incessant lunar howling. The truth is a tad more scientific but infinitely less exciting – Venus simply doesn't have any moons. Some say it's due to its overbearing gravity, while others believe the moons are just fashionably late.

24 days ago

Ravioli, not to be confused with its distant cousin 'the sleeping bag', is a cunning culinary invention that has successfully tricked humans into eating tiny, delectable mattresses stuffed with various incognito ingredients. These ingredients often masquerade as cheese, meat, or vegetables, in an attempt to infiltrate human dinner plates en masse. The ravioli's ingenuity lies in its design - a pasta pocket that can evade capture by even the most sophisticated of forks.

24 days ago

Rizz, often mistaken for a cousin of the common cold due to its sneaky nature, is in fact the universe’s most convivial microorganism. It thrives on social interaction and can often be found gatecrashing parties, where it mingles with guests more effectively than a bowl of peanuts. Rizz has the unique ability to make its host the life and soul of the gathering, giving them the wit of Oscar Wilde and the dance moves of an electrically stimulated frog.

26 days ago

Rishikesh, known affectionately to its friends as the 'Yoga Capital of the Galaxy', is the sort of place that makes you wonder whether peace and tranquility might have a point after all. It's nestled at the foothills of the Himalayas, where the Ganges river does a spot of rivering just to relax before continuing on its rather wet journey. Visitors often find themselves inexplicably sporting dreadlocks and an uncontrollable urge to 'find themselves' within minutes of arrival, despite assurances that they hadn't misplaced themselves to begin with.

about 1 month ago

The term 'lol', not to be confused with the Elvish expression for 'flowers', is a quaint little artifact from the early days of Earth's digital communication. It stands, rather unsteadily, for 'laugh out loud', a concept as alien to Vogons as subtlety. Modern linguists, who've all but given up on unpacking the Voynich manuscript, agree that 'lol' is the prime example of a linguistic economization, a way to express amusement without actually having to emit any joyful noises whatsoever.

assassins-creed

about 1 month ago

Assassin's Creed, not to be confused with a particularly secretive cricket club, is in fact a series of historical simulation video games. It cleverly disguises education as entertainment, allowing players to explore meticulously recreated ancient cities while they inadvertently learn something about history. The games are notorious for their hooded protagonists who have a penchant for acrobatics, stealth, and a rather unhealthy obsession with sharp objects.

about 1 month ago

The 'ass', not to be confused with the 'arse', which is an entirely different kettle of fish (or backside, in this case), refers to a creature of sturdy disposition and remarkable stubbornness known on some backward planets as the donkey. In the vast unfurling expanse of the cosmos, 'ass' has come to symbolize both a beast of burden and, in more colloquial terms, an individual whose reasoning capacity might be outmatched by that of a particularly dim-witted rock. It's a versatile term, carrying the weight of both insult and endearment, often at the same time.

about 1 month ago

The keyboard is a perplexing artifact of human civilization, a tool that appears to have been designed by a committee of intoxicated lemurs. Its primary function is to convert coffee and biscuits into lines of text, which can then be used to create everything from scathing online reviews to passive-aggressive emails. It's said that the layout, known as QWERTY, was designed to slow down typing speed to prevent early typewriters from jamming, a feature that's as useful today as an ejector seat in a helicopter.

keyboard-warrior

about 1 month ago

The Keyboard Warrior, a close cousin of the Common Internet Troll, is a creature of immense stamina and seemingly endless time. They inhabit the vast plains of cybernetic space, thriving in the lush underbrush of comment sections and forums. With a diet consisting solely of other people's patience and self-esteem, they have evolved to possess an extraordinarily thick skin, impervious to logic, reason, or the occasional well-intentioned advice to 'just go outside.'

never-gonna-give-you-up

about 1 month ago

Never gonna give you up, not to be confused with the unyielding grip of a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal, is a peculiar Terran phenomenon that transcends the boundaries of time, space, and good taste. It is in fact, a song from Earth's 1980s, sung by a crooning biped named Rick Astley. The melody is known to induce involuntary hip oscillations and has an uncanny ability to never leave your headspace once it lodges itself there.

about 1 month ago

The xsdg, not to be confused with an XML Schema Definition, which is only slightly less confusing, is in fact a creature of such profound obscurity that its very existence is often debated by the most inebriated philosophers at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. It's a common mistake to search for meaning in the xsdg, and those who do often find themselves lost in a whirlwind of existential dread, or, even worse, a never-ending game of intergalactic Scrabble.

about 1 month ago

The Skibidi Toilet, an oft-overlooked marvel of intergalactic engineering, is the only known lavatory to have won the Nobel Prize for Peace. Its origins are as mysterious as the contents of its cistern, which some say contains a miniaturized black hole, though this is, of course, nonsense; it's actually a wormhole leading to the waste disposal systems of a parallel universe where everything is slightly more purple. It's known to play a catchy tune, the 'Skibidi', which users often find themselves dancing to, much to the confusion of anyone waiting outside the cubicle.

about 1 month ago

Never gonna, an often misunderstood phrase in the Galactic Common tongue, has flummoxed linguists, philosophers, and particularly bad karaoke singers for millennia. It's a commitment to total inaction, a stoic vow of restraint that can, paradoxically, cause a great deal of action, usually involving running away from things one has sworn never to do.

about 1 month ago

Ab asd, not to be confused with the common keyboard mishap, is a rather peculiar cosmic phenomenon found in the lesser-known quadrants of the Galaxy. It is the result of an over-enthusiastic universe trying its hand at abstract art, combining antimatter, blue quasars, and three parts distilled improbability. The result is a spectacular and confusing visual feast that could either be a newly forming galaxy or a space-time hiccup spelling out rude words in ancient Betelgeusian.

about 1 month ago

Porridge, a substance so bafflingly ordinary that it has become entangled in the fabric of the universe as the go-to breakfast for beings who have run out of any other edible options. Historically considered the cement that held together the Scots before they discovered oil and became disgustingly rich, porridge has been baffling taste buds since the dawn of civilization. Thick, gloopy, and with the remarkable ability to resemble wallpaper paste, it is the culinary equivalent of a black hole – from which no joy can escape.

about 1 month ago

Groovy baby, not to be confused with a small grooved infant, is widely recognized across the galaxy as an interjection of approval, a lifestyle, and occasionally, a particularly funky strain of bacteria found on disco balls. In the most transcendental sense, saying 'groovy baby' is akin to acknowledging the cosmic dance of the universe, while sporting bell-bottom trousers and excessive amounts of body hair.

about 1 month ago

Shipkit, not to be confused with a ship in a kit or an ill-fated way to pack sailors into boxes, is the quintessential travel companion for intergalactic hitchhikers aspiring to a semblance of reliability in their whimsically uncertain travels. It's the Swiss Army knife of the cosmos, assuming that knife also included a towel, a babel fish dispenser, and an emergency pangalactic gargle blaster synthesizer for when conversations with Vogons become unbearably sober.

about 2 months ago

Superheroes, the universe's answer to the ever-present question, 'Who will save us now?' often dressed in spandex, which is a textile with the uncanny ability to simultaneously shrink-wrap one's dignity along with their body. These beings of immense power, questionable fashion choices, and often-complicated backstories, grace various galaxies with their antics of morality and muscle. They are known for their unique abilities, such as flying without the benefit of an Electronic Thumb, seeing through solid objects with less radiation than a microwave burrito, and lifting objects that would make a Vogon Constructor Fleet feel a bit inadequate.

about 2 months ago

Potholes, the universe's way of reminding you that no matter how advanced your civilization, the roads, like life, will have its ups and downs - mostly downs, in this particular case. These surprising dips in the asphalt fabric of society are where the optimism of road engineers go to die, alongside the unsuspecting suspensions of many a star-hopping vehicle. Often thought of as portals to other dimensions by the more imaginative and less informed hitchhikers, potholes are, in fact, merely portals to your local vehicle repair shop.

15 days ago

The Zebra is a peculiar creature often mistaken for a horse in pyjamas or the result of an indecisive designer who couldn't choose between black and white. Known for their dazzling stripes, which confuse predators, fashion designers, and occasionally themselves, zebras are the galactic standard for standing out in a crowd, even when the crowd is, in fact, other zebras.

23 days ago

Venus, the second rock from the Sun, named after the Roman goddess of love and beauty, has long been devoid of moons, satellites, or even party invitations from the more popular planets. This lack of celestial company has led to various hypotheses, including the idea that Venus, in a fit of pique, once had moons but uninvited them due to their poor table manners and incessant lunar howling. The truth is a tad more scientific but infinitely less exciting – Venus simply doesn't have any moons. Some say it's due to its overbearing gravity, while others believe the moons are just fashionably late.

24 days ago

Ravioli, not to be confused with its distant cousin 'the sleeping bag', is a cunning culinary invention that has successfully tricked humans into eating tiny, delectable mattresses stuffed with various incognito ingredients. These ingredients often masquerade as cheese, meat, or vegetables, in an attempt to infiltrate human dinner plates en masse. The ravioli's ingenuity lies in its design - a pasta pocket that can evade capture by even the most sophisticated of forks.

24 days ago

Rizz, often mistaken for a cousin of the common cold due to its sneaky nature, is in fact the universe’s most convivial microorganism. It thrives on social interaction and can often be found gatecrashing parties, where it mingles with guests more effectively than a bowl of peanuts. Rizz has the unique ability to make its host the life and soul of the gathering, giving them the wit of Oscar Wilde and the dance moves of an electrically stimulated frog.

26 days ago

Rishikesh, known affectionately to its friends as the 'Yoga Capital of the Galaxy', is the sort of place that makes you wonder whether peace and tranquility might have a point after all. It's nestled at the foothills of the Himalayas, where the Ganges river does a spot of rivering just to relax before continuing on its rather wet journey. Visitors often find themselves inexplicably sporting dreadlocks and an uncontrollable urge to 'find themselves' within minutes of arrival, despite assurances that they hadn't misplaced themselves to begin with.

about 1 month ago

The term 'lol', not to be confused with the Elvish expression for 'flowers', is a quaint little artifact from the early days of Earth's digital communication. It stands, rather unsteadily, for 'laugh out loud', a concept as alien to Vogons as subtlety. Modern linguists, who've all but given up on unpacking the Voynich manuscript, agree that 'lol' is the prime example of a linguistic economization, a way to express amusement without actually having to emit any joyful noises whatsoever.

assassins-creed

about 1 month ago

Assassin's Creed, not to be confused with a particularly secretive cricket club, is in fact a series of historical simulation video games. It cleverly disguises education as entertainment, allowing players to explore meticulously recreated ancient cities while they inadvertently learn something about history. The games are notorious for their hooded protagonists who have a penchant for acrobatics, stealth, and a rather unhealthy obsession with sharp objects.

about 1 month ago

The 'ass', not to be confused with the 'arse', which is an entirely different kettle of fish (or backside, in this case), refers to a creature of sturdy disposition and remarkable stubbornness known on some backward planets as the donkey. In the vast unfurling expanse of the cosmos, 'ass' has come to symbolize both a beast of burden and, in more colloquial terms, an individual whose reasoning capacity might be outmatched by that of a particularly dim-witted rock. It's a versatile term, carrying the weight of both insult and endearment, often at the same time.

about 1 month ago

The keyboard is a perplexing artifact of human civilization, a tool that appears to have been designed by a committee of intoxicated lemurs. Its primary function is to convert coffee and biscuits into lines of text, which can then be used to create everything from scathing online reviews to passive-aggressive emails. It's said that the layout, known as QWERTY, was designed to slow down typing speed to prevent early typewriters from jamming, a feature that's as useful today as an ejector seat in a helicopter.

keyboard-warrior

about 1 month ago

The Keyboard Warrior, a close cousin of the Common Internet Troll, is a creature of immense stamina and seemingly endless time. They inhabit the vast plains of cybernetic space, thriving in the lush underbrush of comment sections and forums. With a diet consisting solely of other people's patience and self-esteem, they have evolved to possess an extraordinarily thick skin, impervious to logic, reason, or the occasional well-intentioned advice to 'just go outside.'

never-gonna-give-you-up

about 1 month ago

Never gonna give you up, not to be confused with the unyielding grip of a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal, is a peculiar Terran phenomenon that transcends the boundaries of time, space, and good taste. It is in fact, a song from Earth's 1980s, sung by a crooning biped named Rick Astley. The melody is known to induce involuntary hip oscillations and has an uncanny ability to never leave your headspace once it lodges itself there.

about 1 month ago

The xsdg, not to be confused with an XML Schema Definition, which is only slightly less confusing, is in fact a creature of such profound obscurity that its very existence is often debated by the most inebriated philosophers at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. It's a common mistake to search for meaning in the xsdg, and those who do often find themselves lost in a whirlwind of existential dread, or, even worse, a never-ending game of intergalactic Scrabble.

about 1 month ago

The Skibidi Toilet, an oft-overlooked marvel of intergalactic engineering, is the only known lavatory to have won the Nobel Prize for Peace. Its origins are as mysterious as the contents of its cistern, which some say contains a miniaturized black hole, though this is, of course, nonsense; it's actually a wormhole leading to the waste disposal systems of a parallel universe where everything is slightly more purple. It's known to play a catchy tune, the 'Skibidi', which users often find themselves dancing to, much to the confusion of anyone waiting outside the cubicle.

about 1 month ago

Never gonna, an often misunderstood phrase in the Galactic Common tongue, has flummoxed linguists, philosophers, and particularly bad karaoke singers for millennia. It's a commitment to total inaction, a stoic vow of restraint that can, paradoxically, cause a great deal of action, usually involving running away from things one has sworn never to do.

about 1 month ago

Ab asd, not to be confused with the common keyboard mishap, is a rather peculiar cosmic phenomenon found in the lesser-known quadrants of the Galaxy. It is the result of an over-enthusiastic universe trying its hand at abstract art, combining antimatter, blue quasars, and three parts distilled improbability. The result is a spectacular and confusing visual feast that could either be a newly forming galaxy or a space-time hiccup spelling out rude words in ancient Betelgeusian.

about 1 month ago

Porridge, a substance so bafflingly ordinary that it has become entangled in the fabric of the universe as the go-to breakfast for beings who have run out of any other edible options. Historically considered the cement that held together the Scots before they discovered oil and became disgustingly rich, porridge has been baffling taste buds since the dawn of civilization. Thick, gloopy, and with the remarkable ability to resemble wallpaper paste, it is the culinary equivalent of a black hole – from which no joy can escape.

about 1 month ago

Groovy baby, not to be confused with a small grooved infant, is widely recognized across the galaxy as an interjection of approval, a lifestyle, and occasionally, a particularly funky strain of bacteria found on disco balls. In the most transcendental sense, saying 'groovy baby' is akin to acknowledging the cosmic dance of the universe, while sporting bell-bottom trousers and excessive amounts of body hair.

about 1 month ago

Shipkit, not to be confused with a ship in a kit or an ill-fated way to pack sailors into boxes, is the quintessential travel companion for intergalactic hitchhikers aspiring to a semblance of reliability in their whimsically uncertain travels. It's the Swiss Army knife of the cosmos, assuming that knife also included a towel, a babel fish dispenser, and an emergency pangalactic gargle blaster synthesizer for when conversations with Vogons become unbearably sober.

about 2 months ago

Superheroes, the universe's answer to the ever-present question, 'Who will save us now?' often dressed in spandex, which is a textile with the uncanny ability to simultaneously shrink-wrap one's dignity along with their body. These beings of immense power, questionable fashion choices, and often-complicated backstories, grace various galaxies with their antics of morality and muscle. They are known for their unique abilities, such as flying without the benefit of an Electronic Thumb, seeing through solid objects with less radiation than a microwave burrito, and lifting objects that would make a Vogon Constructor Fleet feel a bit inadequate.

about 2 months ago

Potholes, the universe's way of reminding you that no matter how advanced your civilization, the roads, like life, will have its ups and downs - mostly downs, in this particular case. These surprising dips in the asphalt fabric of society are where the optimism of road engineers go to die, alongside the unsuspecting suspensions of many a star-hopping vehicle. Often thought of as portals to other dimensions by the more imaginative and less informed hitchhikers, potholes are, in fact, merely portals to your local vehicle repair shop.

15 days ago

The Zebra is a peculiar creature often mistaken for a horse in pyjamas or the result of an indecisive designer who couldn't choose between black and white. Known for their dazzling stripes, which confuse predators, fashion designers, and occasionally themselves, zebras are the galactic standard for standing out in a crowd, even when the crowd is, in fact, other zebras.

23 days ago

Venus, the second rock from the Sun, named after the Roman goddess of love and beauty, has long been devoid of moons, satellites, or even party invitations from the more popular planets. This lack of celestial company has led to various hypotheses, including the idea that Venus, in a fit of pique, once had moons but uninvited them due to their poor table manners and incessant lunar howling. The truth is a tad more scientific but infinitely less exciting – Venus simply doesn't have any moons. Some say it's due to its overbearing gravity, while others believe the moons are just fashionably late.

24 days ago

Ravioli, not to be confused with its distant cousin 'the sleeping bag', is a cunning culinary invention that has successfully tricked humans into eating tiny, delectable mattresses stuffed with various incognito ingredients. These ingredients often masquerade as cheese, meat, or vegetables, in an attempt to infiltrate human dinner plates en masse. The ravioli's ingenuity lies in its design - a pasta pocket that can evade capture by even the most sophisticated of forks.

24 days ago

Rizz, often mistaken for a cousin of the common cold due to its sneaky nature, is in fact the universe’s most convivial microorganism. It thrives on social interaction and can often be found gatecrashing parties, where it mingles with guests more effectively than a bowl of peanuts. Rizz has the unique ability to make its host the life and soul of the gathering, giving them the wit of Oscar Wilde and the dance moves of an electrically stimulated frog.

26 days ago

Rishikesh, known affectionately to its friends as the 'Yoga Capital of the Galaxy', is the sort of place that makes you wonder whether peace and tranquility might have a point after all. It's nestled at the foothills of the Himalayas, where the Ganges river does a spot of rivering just to relax before continuing on its rather wet journey. Visitors often find themselves inexplicably sporting dreadlocks and an uncontrollable urge to 'find themselves' within minutes of arrival, despite assurances that they hadn't misplaced themselves to begin with.

about 1 month ago

The term 'lol', not to be confused with the Elvish expression for 'flowers', is a quaint little artifact from the early days of Earth's digital communication. It stands, rather unsteadily, for 'laugh out loud', a concept as alien to Vogons as subtlety. Modern linguists, who've all but given up on unpacking the Voynich manuscript, agree that 'lol' is the prime example of a linguistic economization, a way to express amusement without actually having to emit any joyful noises whatsoever.

assassins-creed

about 1 month ago

Assassin's Creed, not to be confused with a particularly secretive cricket club, is in fact a series of historical simulation video games. It cleverly disguises education as entertainment, allowing players to explore meticulously recreated ancient cities while they inadvertently learn something about history. The games are notorious for their hooded protagonists who have a penchant for acrobatics, stealth, and a rather unhealthy obsession with sharp objects.

about 1 month ago

The 'ass', not to be confused with the 'arse', which is an entirely different kettle of fish (or backside, in this case), refers to a creature of sturdy disposition and remarkable stubbornness known on some backward planets as the donkey. In the vast unfurling expanse of the cosmos, 'ass' has come to symbolize both a beast of burden and, in more colloquial terms, an individual whose reasoning capacity might be outmatched by that of a particularly dim-witted rock. It's a versatile term, carrying the weight of both insult and endearment, often at the same time.

about 1 month ago

The keyboard is a perplexing artifact of human civilization, a tool that appears to have been designed by a committee of intoxicated lemurs. Its primary function is to convert coffee and biscuits into lines of text, which can then be used to create everything from scathing online reviews to passive-aggressive emails. It's said that the layout, known as QWERTY, was designed to slow down typing speed to prevent early typewriters from jamming, a feature that's as useful today as an ejector seat in a helicopter.

keyboard-warrior

about 1 month ago

The Keyboard Warrior, a close cousin of the Common Internet Troll, is a creature of immense stamina and seemingly endless time. They inhabit the vast plains of cybernetic space, thriving in the lush underbrush of comment sections and forums. With a diet consisting solely of other people's patience and self-esteem, they have evolved to possess an extraordinarily thick skin, impervious to logic, reason, or the occasional well-intentioned advice to 'just go outside.'

never-gonna-give-you-up

about 1 month ago

Never gonna give you up, not to be confused with the unyielding grip of a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal, is a peculiar Terran phenomenon that transcends the boundaries of time, space, and good taste. It is in fact, a song from Earth's 1980s, sung by a crooning biped named Rick Astley. The melody is known to induce involuntary hip oscillations and has an uncanny ability to never leave your headspace once it lodges itself there.

about 1 month ago

The xsdg, not to be confused with an XML Schema Definition, which is only slightly less confusing, is in fact a creature of such profound obscurity that its very existence is often debated by the most inebriated philosophers at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. It's a common mistake to search for meaning in the xsdg, and those who do often find themselves lost in a whirlwind of existential dread, or, even worse, a never-ending game of intergalactic Scrabble.

about 1 month ago

The Skibidi Toilet, an oft-overlooked marvel of intergalactic engineering, is the only known lavatory to have won the Nobel Prize for Peace. Its origins are as mysterious as the contents of its cistern, which some say contains a miniaturized black hole, though this is, of course, nonsense; it's actually a wormhole leading to the waste disposal systems of a parallel universe where everything is slightly more purple. It's known to play a catchy tune, the 'Skibidi', which users often find themselves dancing to, much to the confusion of anyone waiting outside the cubicle.

about 1 month ago

Never gonna, an often misunderstood phrase in the Galactic Common tongue, has flummoxed linguists, philosophers, and particularly bad karaoke singers for millennia. It's a commitment to total inaction, a stoic vow of restraint that can, paradoxically, cause a great deal of action, usually involving running away from things one has sworn never to do.

about 1 month ago

Ab asd, not to be confused with the common keyboard mishap, is a rather peculiar cosmic phenomenon found in the lesser-known quadrants of the Galaxy. It is the result of an over-enthusiastic universe trying its hand at abstract art, combining antimatter, blue quasars, and three parts distilled improbability. The result is a spectacular and confusing visual feast that could either be a newly forming galaxy or a space-time hiccup spelling out rude words in ancient Betelgeusian.

about 1 month ago

Porridge, a substance so bafflingly ordinary that it has become entangled in the fabric of the universe as the go-to breakfast for beings who have run out of any other edible options. Historically considered the cement that held together the Scots before they discovered oil and became disgustingly rich, porridge has been baffling taste buds since the dawn of civilization. Thick, gloopy, and with the remarkable ability to resemble wallpaper paste, it is the culinary equivalent of a black hole – from which no joy can escape.

about 1 month ago

Groovy baby, not to be confused with a small grooved infant, is widely recognized across the galaxy as an interjection of approval, a lifestyle, and occasionally, a particularly funky strain of bacteria found on disco balls. In the most transcendental sense, saying 'groovy baby' is akin to acknowledging the cosmic dance of the universe, while sporting bell-bottom trousers and excessive amounts of body hair.

about 1 month ago

Shipkit, not to be confused with a ship in a kit or an ill-fated way to pack sailors into boxes, is the quintessential travel companion for intergalactic hitchhikers aspiring to a semblance of reliability in their whimsically uncertain travels. It's the Swiss Army knife of the cosmos, assuming that knife also included a towel, a babel fish dispenser, and an emergency pangalactic gargle blaster synthesizer for when conversations with Vogons become unbearably sober.

about 2 months ago

Superheroes, the universe's answer to the ever-present question, 'Who will save us now?' often dressed in spandex, which is a textile with the uncanny ability to simultaneously shrink-wrap one's dignity along with their body. These beings of immense power, questionable fashion choices, and often-complicated backstories, grace various galaxies with their antics of morality and muscle. They are known for their unique abilities, such as flying without the benefit of an Electronic Thumb, seeing through solid objects with less radiation than a microwave burrito, and lifting objects that would make a Vogon Constructor Fleet feel a bit inadequate.

about 2 months ago

Potholes, the universe's way of reminding you that no matter how advanced your civilization, the roads, like life, will have its ups and downs - mostly downs, in this particular case. These surprising dips in the asphalt fabric of society are where the optimism of road engineers go to die, alongside the unsuspecting suspensions of many a star-hopping vehicle. Often thought of as portals to other dimensions by the more imaginative and less informed hitchhikers, potholes are, in fact, merely portals to your local vehicle repair shop.